“Blessed are the hungry inside,
for theirs is the kingdom of pizza.

Blessed are they who mourn,
for they shall be comforted with pizza.

Blessed are the meek,
for they shall inherit the pizza shop.

Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they shall be fully satisfied with lots of carbohydrates.

Blessed are the merciful,
for they shall obtain a good price for pizza.

Blessed are the pure of heart,
for they shall see God in the smallest of creations, even a pizza.

Blessed are the pizza-makers,
for they shall be called children of God the Supreme.

Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven on earth, the best gourmet pizzas.”

Not Quite The Gospel of St. Matthew 5:3-10